Dabysan in Hammersmith Palais

To the victor, the spoils

I feel a little salty about having to make this post. In rereading the rules of the 104p52w Challenge, it is something of a gray area whether the last week in 2009, for the purposes of the challenge, ends this
Sunday at midnight, or tonight when the corks pop. To me, logic dictates that it be the latter, but I know that Jodi and her team of pinstriped legal hit-men would be all over me if I showed even the slightest hint of violating the rules (her numerous transgressions notwithstanding). Because I will be out (inasmuch as a vegetarian nondrinker can “revel”) when I am required to post this, and because the iPhone still doesn’t like Vox, I will be relying on
the handy mobile blogging feature to make this work. Happy New Year everyone! Pie to all!

Crossing my Ts

I don't think I have to blog today and tomorrow to avoid a regrettable late default on the 104p52w challenge, but I don't want to leave any gaps for Jodi's shenanigans.

Excelsior!

Taking Up the Gauntlet

In February 2010 we will contest the 10th annual Karaoke to the Death X, and I intend to take home the trophy and enshrine myself in the pantheon of KttD greats. It will be an uphill climb. As often discussed, I have a number of things going against me.

The first, and most difficult obstacle I have to overcome, is my unvarnished enjoyment of attention, good or bad. Your typical modern KttD winner is a tone-deaf introvert who despises being the center of attention. These natural champions have an uncomfortable and displeasing stage presence that simply can't be faked. Hotrod has famously ridden this trait to two KttD championships in the modern era, an historic accomplishment. I go into the competition understanding that I'm going to have to triumph despite my comparative ease on stage.

But KttD is first and foremost a bad singing contest, so being at ease on stage -- while not optimal -- is not a deal breaker. In the singing department, my greatest asset is a powerful voice (easily the loudest in the field) that can be strained to vulgar frequencies given the "right" song. When I won KttD it was the happy marriage of this powerful instrument and Chicago's warbling "If You Leave Me Now" that propelled me ahead of the competition.

Since my victory in KttD V, I have never again factored in the voting, nor have I ever been a factor in the final voting. Part of this can be attributed to a significant, tournament-wide upswing in the overall level of competition, but I think a bigger factor has been my inability to find that perfect song to match my voice.

So I'm going a different direction this year. In the past, I typically shot for bad songs that I secretly loved (If You Leave Me Now, How Deep is Your Love, More Than a Feelin', etc.) but now I'm looking for songs that I wholeheartedly despise. I think this is the key to help me find my muse. Below is the current leader in the clubhouse.

Carrie Underwood- Jesus take the wheel

 

Comfort and Joy

My favorite Christmas Carol is "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman." It is probably no coincidence that this is also the only actual Christmas carol mentioned by name in "A Christmas Carol." The Christmas in my head is a decidedly English affair, and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen strikes me as the most English of carols.

I got a yen to hear my favorite Christmas song earlier today, so I headed on over to iTunes to buy myself a copy. I was hoping for a version sung by fat, jolly English baritone types, possibly with an orchestra. This is what I got.

Tidings of comfort and joy

Of the 50 versions of the song available for sale on the first screen, no more than three are even remotely listenable. The Neil Diamond version was -- from what I could hear of it -- particularly repugnant. And I didn't even listen to a snippet of the 98 Degrees version, or the one by the [shudder] Barenaked Ladies.

I ended up buying the one by the Chieftans, as a lesser of all evils, but I'm not even entirely sure that scratches my anglophile itch. Vexing.

On a happier note, Merry Christmas everybody! Wishing you and yours the best this holiday.

The Great Lost Weekend

The Greater Washington Metropolitan area suffered a snowpocalypse this weekend, and I've been apartment-bound with CarrieNation for going on 36 hours now. If Facebook is any indication, people are just beside themselves about all their lost productivity during The Great Blizzard of 2009, but we think it's just dandy. I don't know how long it would take me to get bored of hanging out with my wife, watching movies, reading books and playing video games, but I'm willing to find out. 

Radio Gaga

I've never been a big fan of dance music. It might have something to do with the fact that I can't dance...or that most dance music sucks, or maybe it's a little from column A and a little from column B.

Not only have I never been a big fan of dance music, but there has also never been a time in my life at which I've had less use for it. I was never a big clubber (clubbite) even as a young single fellow. Now that I'm married I can think of approximately 7,000 things I'd rather do than go to a dance club, including #4,506 (staring into middle space) and #5,092 (flicking around a ball of lint).

So it is a little surprising to me that my new favorite artist is kabillion-selling dance-pop sensation Lady Gaga.

It started when I downloaded her ubiquitous hit Poker Face in an effort to make our wedding playlist more relevant to the young folks. Unlike most dance music, which I find gets worse with repeated listening, I found myself coming back to Ms. Gaga's weird ode to whatever it is she's singing about. Lately I've been scouring YouTube for more gaga clips, including my latest favorite, Bad Romance.

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

I suppose I should probably call this a guilty pleasure, but I don't feel all that guilty about it. I'm actually kind of happy that the kids today are shaking their butts to something artistic and vaguely subversive. I also like that Lady Gaga cites David Bowie as an influence and took her name from a Queen song. Now if you'll excuse me I've got to watch that video again. 

104p50w

With two weeks to go in December, I've posted 104 times in 2009, and am well on my way to successfully completing my second challenge in as many years. It's a little disappointing that Jodi hasn't failed just yet, but 'tis the season for miracles, and I remain hopeful.

In other news, I bought "Flash's Theme" on iTunes and have been listening to it obsessively this week.

Flash Theme Live - Queen Rock Montreal

Anyone for tea?

So I was in the Whole Foods today, like any good yuppie, buying my hemp cereal and gmo-free, eight-dollar milk, when I noticed something funny in the tea aisle.

Smooothh

Now, I like a vile scatological pun as much as (read: a lot more than) the next guy, but I'm not expecting them at my local overpriced green grocer. And it wasn't just the one. Smirking poop jokes seem to be the norm for upscale laxative teas.

Oh by all means

 

I love how this one  reverts to the euphemistic "tummy trouble" in small print, right after it makes a blunt butt reference in in 24-point type at the top of the package.

(I just noticed that the "Smooth Move" tea to the left of the "Smooth Move" tea that I shot is "Chocolate Smooth Move." Nice.) 

Anatomy of a Sports Hypocrite: Hotrod

My friend Hotrod has a lot of things going for him: excellent taste in baked goods; strong public speaking and some very nifty dance moves, but on matters sporting, he is -- I think we can all agree --  a hypocrite.

For those of you not interested in sports, this may require a little explanation. It is typical, in sporting circles, for fans to choose their favorite sporting teams in early childhood. It may seem cruel to force a child into such a critical lifelong decision, but in virtually all cases, the choice is a simple matter of geography. You root for the team that comes from where you come from. Sometimes a child will chose a team based on his parents' sporting affiliations, but in general, it's a pretty obvious decision.

Cut to Hotrod. He was born in Michigan...or Ohio -- depending on which day you ask him -- two states with excellent representation in the National Football League. Now while it may be true that the Detroit Lions, Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals have not been world-beaters, they are all proud franchises with rich histories. Sadly, not all people have the the intestinal fortitude to support a team that occasionally loses, so young Hotrod randomly chose to support a team from Pennsylvania: the Pittsburgh Steelers...who just happened to be the best team in football.

Now we might be inclined to give him a pass on this less-than-gallant behavior, if it were an isolated incident, but sadly, it's not.

One of the corollaries to the geographic rule of sports affiliation is that if you root for one team from a city, you also support the other teams that represent that city. Hotrod, not one to support the proud, but underfunded Pittsburgh Pirates, chose for his favorite baseball team the New York Yankees : winners of the most championships in baseball history.

In college football, Hotrod backs Michigan, quite simply, the winningest college football program of all time. But he stops being a Wolverine during basketball season, so that he can root for Michigan's deadly rival, Michigan State, a perennial basketball powerhouse.

Finally, we come to Hockey. During last year's Stanley Cup Finals, I tried to take a shot at Hotrod, who'd been rooting hard for the Pittsburgh Penguins against my Washington Capitals in the semi-final round. When informed him that I hoped the the Detroit Red Wings beat his Penguins in the finals, he calmly informed me that he was a fan of both teams, and thus couldn't lose. That pretty much says it all.

This Video Made Me Very, Very Sad

F. Terrible.

RVIA Outlook: Let the Sun Shine