My friend Hotrod has a lot of things going for him: excellent taste in baked goods; strong public speaking and some very nifty dance moves, but on matters sporting, he is -- I think we can all agree -- a hypocrite.
For those of you not interested in sports, this may require a little explanation. It is typical, in sporting circles, for fans to choose their favorite sporting teams in early childhood. It may seem cruel to force a child into such a critical lifelong decision, but in virtually all cases, the choice is a simple matter of geography. You root for the team that comes from where you come from. Sometimes a child will chose a team based on his parents' sporting affiliations, but in general, it's a pretty obvious decision.
Cut to Hotrod. He was born in Michigan...or Ohio -- depending on which day you ask him -- two states with excellent representation in the National Football League. Now while it may be true that the Detroit Lions, Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals have not been world-beaters, they are all proud franchises with rich histories. Sadly, not all people have the the intestinal fortitude to support a team that occasionally loses, so young Hotrod randomly chose to support a team from Pennsylvania: the Pittsburgh Steelers...who just happened to be the best team in football.
Now we might be inclined to give him a pass on this less-than-gallant behavior, if it were an isolated incident, but sadly, it's not.
One of the corollaries to the geographic rule of sports affiliation is that if you root for one team from a city, you also support the other teams that represent that city. Hotrod, not one to support the proud, but underfunded Pittsburgh Pirates, chose for his favorite baseball team the New York Yankees : winners of the most championships in baseball history.
In college football, Hotrod backs Michigan, quite simply, the winningest college football program of all time. But he stops being a Wolverine during basketball season, so that he can root for Michigan's deadly rival, Michigan State, a perennial basketball powerhouse.
Finally, we come to Hockey. During last year's Stanley Cup Finals, I tried to take a shot at Hotrod, who'd been rooting hard for the Pittsburgh Penguins against my Washington Capitals in the semi-final round. When informed him that I hoped the the Detroit Red Wings beat his Penguins in the finals, he calmly informed me that he was a fan of both teams, and thus couldn't lose. That pretty much says it all.
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